Have you ever paused in the quiet of your day to contemplate how you want to be remembered? Imagine yourself at your own funeral, a gathering of loved ones sharing stories and memories. What single quality would you crave for them to highlight above all others?
This question can be surprisingly more complex than it seems. We often hold dear a collection of virtues we strive to cultivate within ourselves—honesty and integrity, dependability and reliability, a light-hearted sense of humor, unwavering strength and resilience, intelligence, and other. These are all qualities we want to embody, not just for ourselves but for the positive impact they have on those around us.
Personally, I've always considered my unwavering truthfulness to be a cornerstone of my character. But recently, a disquieting thought surfaced. Wouldn't it sting a little if, at my eulogy, my children simply said, "One thing I can say for sure, she always said what she thought to be true"? Wouldn't a deeper truth resonate more – "No matter what, she always loved us"?
Here's the crux of the matter: while honesty, integrity, dependability, resilience, and intelligence are undeniably important qualities, they can all pale in comparison to the transformative power of Love. Let's face it: all these good qualities ultimately stem from a foundation of Love.
Now, I understand the struggle. We often find ourselves entangled in a web of negative emotions before we can even consider exercising positive ones. But what if we didn't have to bottle those negative emotions up? What if, instead, we could transform them?
Transforming, Not Suppressing
This transformation isn't about shoving your negative emotions down deep or pretending they don't exist. We've all tried that "putting a lid on it" approach, and we all know it never works. Those nasty feelings simmer beneath the surface, inevitably leaking out in ways that can be destructive to our health and relationships. (There's a whole part on this in my book, "100 Walls To Be Broken"!)
True transformation involves harnessing the energy of negative emotions to propel yourself towards positive action. Our negative emotions aren't inherently bad; they serve as a signal, a beacon highlighting what's out of balance. By acknowledging these feelings and showing vulnerability, we often open the door for compassion, both from ourselves and others.
Here's a simple transformation exercise to get you started:
Feeling Like Giving Up? Shift your focus to making a small improvement, even if it's just getting up and taking a walk.
The Blame Game? Try to find something to appreciate in the situation, even if it's just a small detail.
Feeling Withdrawn? Redirect your energy towards connecting with someone, even a simple phone call to a friend.
Anger Rising? (This one's a tough one – ponder on this yourself and see what positive transformation you can identify!)
Remember, love isn't some mystical force you need to go out and find. It's already within you. By cultivating a more loving approach to life, you can create a legacy that truly resonates with those around you, a legacy that goes far beyond simply saying what you think is true. It's a legacy built on the foundation of love, compassion, and connection – a legacy that will truly make a difference.
On this note, try limiting beliefs coaching with me; consultation is free!
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